I can think of a thousand reasons why she shut me out of her life the way she did. None of them say it’s because she’s a bitch. Of those thousands of reasons, I know none of them are probably her reason. I don’t know about you, but whenever I’ve tried to find an explanation why someone acted a certain way and then actually got to talk to that person about it, I found I was always wrong in trying to figure out what their reason was. Most of the time, they had a different reason for acting the way they did.
I know people are trying to show support and loyalty when they say she’s a bitch. We are taught to split the world into two. To chose a side when we perceive conflict. I just don’t see life as black and white as most chose to look at it. There certainly is a lot beyond right and wrong. As what is right and what is wrong come from judging. Judging is a construct of the human mind. To see the world as black and white helps the mind put a little order in the world around us. At least that’s what Aristotle thought. And most chose to agree with him. I do wonder if he had foreseen how his concept of dichotomy, his system of contradicting references as an intent to help distinguish one thing from another, would be used by the human mind and the impact it would have thousands of years later.. Would he have kept it as he has, or would he have used the paper he wrote it on to keep himself warm on a cold night.
Judging is a construct of the mind. We oppose, we exclude, to better order our lives. If it’s this (wrong), it can’t be that (right). While this proposition is interesting, it doesn’t align with our lives. As the song says, we mostly find that our lives is better represented with “a little bit of this, a little bit of that.”
We live in the grey. We live in our own minds and hearts and both understand the world in their own way. While right and wrong offer a reference, in truth, they don’t have any more meaning than the primary numbers. They are a system available to us to evolve with and from. Except social contracts are still in the form of right and wrong, of black and white, and offer little room for growth.
“I’m sorry she shut you out like this. She’s a bitch.”
Thank you for acknowledging my pain. Thank you for being sorry. This is the only part that truly matters to me. You acknowledge my pain. Maybe we could chat. Maybe I won’t want to chat. I don’t need any more from you. I don’t need you to judge her. Condemn her. It gives me no support. No relief. No peace. It serves me not.
I can think of a thousand reasons why she shut me out of her life the way she did. I know that none of these reasons are hers. For as many reasons as I can come up with, I know that I’m only looking at the reasons why I would reject myself. I don’t have access to hers.
You don’t have access to hers.
She’s not a bitch. Not any more than you are when you find yourself in a difficult situation and do or say something that hurts someone. You’re human. She’s human.